Cats and Dogs: The Ongoing Struggle

According to the AMVA, 36% of American households own dogs, and 30% own cats. According to my own personal experience, those who own a dog will also likely own a cat, with some rare exceptions (usually cats. Why the hell is it always cats?)

GrumpyCat slays your soul with his misery.

And yet, what happens whenever a cat and a dog are stuck in the same building?

War. 

Total War.

This has compelled me to believe that there must be a reason to this madness. 

My thoughts have led me to this theoretical timeline.

1. Mankind, at its infancy, befriends dogs and they enter a mutually beneficial relationship.

2. This relationship grows and grows over the centuries. Mankind and dogkind live harmoniously together. 

3. Then, one day, man comes across cat, and is tricked into accepting it.

4. He takes him in, ignorant of the danger that looms. Even the dog is more curious than concerned. For a while, everything seems fine...

and then it begins...

It starts innocently, you think. Small, pointless requests.

And any time you refuse these small requests... 

5. The cycle continues as the cat slowly increases its sublime manipulation. You wake up one morning and realize that you have been giving it food, providing entertainment for it, and have been reduced to shoveling its shit. Your protests are no longer responded to by sympathy...

6. It's too late... You are now Human #922-D in the Feline Communist Party. You no longer serve your own interests. You serve the State. 

... but there is still hope...

And it is because of this unending struggle for the enslavement or freedom of mankind everywhere that dogs and cats fight constantly everywhere.

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