Products for Lava Girl

As discussed in a previous post, LavaGirl (the woman I'm engaged to) has some... peculiarities when it comes to her "ideal temperature" for consuming food and drink.

"If it doesn't melt my tastebuds, then I don't want it."

Naturally, it is difficult to find products that will reach such extreme temperatures... or even companies willing to produce them.

But, somehow, there's always at least one shady, creepy company or person willing to design something so skin-meltingly crazy it meets the bar.

And, my personal favorite...

"Now with THRUST VECTORING!"

Oh the things that girl does...

Aggravation: The Musical

Today was a long day...

Wake up in th' morning, feelin' like a zombie

Grab my coffee, I'm out the door, gonna hit the city

Before I leave, check G-mail, and google maps too

'Cause when I leave for the day I know what I'm gonna do

I'm talkin'

Takin' that Civil Service

Tryin' to get a high score

Finally get a job, job...

~Ke$ha in an alternate universe, theoretically.

DEAR GOD, WHY.

How to Have a Long Ass Day

Step 1: Leave to go to your civil service exam and head towards the nearest gas station.

The dotted line means "fly here."

Step 2: Try your Luck at the Gas Pumps

Step 3: Leave the Gas Station with only $5.43 worth of fuel and drive like a maniac while keeping an eye on your fuel gauge

Step 4: Find a Gas Station, quickly fuel up, drive the rest of the 2 hour trip and arrive at the testing center...

... 10 minutes late...

Step 5: Drive BACK another 2 hours and bake some bread you've been planning for... and the dough is stickier than a toddler that discovered maple syrup.

Step 6: Preheat oven to 425? No problem!

Pictured above: Problem.

Gaaaaaaaah! Screw this, I'm being a Pirate.

Have any tremendously bad days that make you want to commit Omnicide? Or maybe you have a good story to cheer me up? Tell me about it in a comment below!