Thankfulness in Fruitlessness

Ah Thanksgiving, the only holiday where we claim we’re thankful, and then spend the next few days literally killing people to get more stuff we want.

It’s the American way! Whoo!

When you’re jobless, the sales and bargains don’t apply to you because you’re already thankful for what you have you can’t afford anything anyways.

So, naturally, one has to get creative as to what to be thankful for.

It’s the simple things, really. And, yes, before MaterBaconia and LavaGirl and assorted friends, family members, and talking sinks start yelling at me: Yes. I am supremely, and very very VERY thankful for each and every one of you. You’ve molded me into the (psychotic) person I am, and you keep me going.

Thank you for being who you are, and for helping me figure out who I am.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Cookie Dough

As I've mentioned before, having a hobby is an essential part of life, especially while job searching. There's only so many times you can fill out applications, answer questionnaires, send in resumes, write up emails, etc. before your brain implodes.

My hobby is baking and cooking, but usually only small things: a loaf of bread, a meal...

Your arteries will explode in gratitude.

And then there's lava girl, who makes 5,000 dozen million cookies every Christmas.

I'm not even exaggerating. Just ONE recipe she's recently started using makes 6 dozen, and she tripled the recipe. (You can find it here: they're really good).

And, naturally, as BigStrongGuy™, I maintain my dignity as a man I become the human mixing machine.

But, being the silly and rebellious fellow I am, I can commit extreme acts of terrorism...

Naturally, LavaGirl is not amused.

That's alright though. I mean, everyone likes cookie dough better anyways? Besides the raw egg, what's the problem? Cookie Dough > Cookies, period.

Well. Until I am shamed into doing all the dishes for my crimes.

The following two people commented on my Facebook page, and thus I drew their profile pics. 

 

The War of the Roses

There comes a point in time where we are challenged by some opposing force.

In my case, it's 1800 Flowers (please don't sue me).

It all began a couple of weeks ago. I ordered some flowers for LavaGirl because all girls like flowers. And what makes LavaGirl happy makes me happy, too.

Pictured Above: Pure Happiness on My Part.

I went online, and I ordered a vase with three white roses in it. I figured this was good, as three is a pretty symbolic number for us right now: we've been together three years, her ring has three diamonds in it, we're both number the third child, etc. I was excited to see her get it. It even came with a card I personalized, and which some poor bastard had to write by hand.

Fast forward a few hours later, and we discover it's been delivered to her apartment building's main office.

Then she gets them.

Then I see them.

It wasn't what I ordered.

Now, usually this doesn't really phase me. If someone gets my order wrong at a restaurant or something, I'm not Captain McDouchy and tell them to get me another one. Same for coffee. But there were two things that made this different:

1. This was for LavaGirl, not me.
2. FLOWERS ARE EFFING EXPENSIVE AS SHIT.

Thus began a series of emails between me and the customer service department:

Alright, sweet! Now not only does LavaGirl get MOAR FLOWERS (and the ones I wanted her to get), but I also get $20 towards the next time I do this. Yay all around!

Until, that is, a week later.

Because nothing had come. Nothing. At all. The "voucher" was supposed to be sent within the week, and the flowers were supposed to come even sooner. What the heck happened.

Alright well, now I'm a bit irritated: the website didn't say the roses were unavailable. It wasn't like they're an uncommon purchase, either... But alright, sunflowers it is. They're still nice, and I got the voucher.

So, I ask for them to be delivered tomorrow and to advise me if that wasn't possible.

So naturally, two days and no flowers later, I get an email.

I had it. I was too annoyed to carry on. I asked for an outright refund, something I never do. But when you drop that much cash on something, and then more than two weeks later they still can't get it right, there's an issue. I mean, they didn't even have what the customer service rep suggested to me. If that's not crazy, I don't know what is.

... oh, and I'm still waiting on a reply. And the flowers, if they ever come. And the refund.

SUPER EDIT OF GLORY: I've been refunded fully as of 15 November and given the $20 voucher as well. I'm a bit hesitant to try that all again, but at least they made good on it. Better late than never.

Got any stories of bad customer service or other similar headaches? Come on, I know one of you must've dealt with Dell Support Staff before. Leave a story in the comments below!

I date lava girl

Yesterday Fiancée and I went out on a date to a local bar.

Finally.

It was just a small place, nothing too flashy or exciting. We figured just order a few appetizers and beers and call it a night. We ordered beer-battered french fries and I nearly died out of happiness.

Some time later, our french fries were depleted, and there was much sorrow. To stave off the oncoming darkness, we got jalapeño poppers. They were fresh out of the fryer, which meant that the cheese inside the popper was a temperate 8000°C. 

Tastebuds were lost.

Meanwhile on the feminine side of the table, all was well.

It took me three years to realize that I was dating Lava Girl. The proof was all around me. At coffee places...

Restaurants...

Hell, even campfires

The REAL kicker is that, whenever we cook something, who's the taste tester? 

Me.

Actual quote.

The female mind is a curious, strange thing. Best to stay away.

An unknown artist's interpretation of the feminine mind.

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