On Scams and Sadness

Hello! Yes, I am alive, and I’m sorry for the wait.

On Friday I had an interview with a well-known company for an Asset Protection position. Basically, I’d be someone who watches customers and employees and make sure than safety is observed and that merchandise is not stolen or damaged. 

So, I showed up for the interview at 4:30 as I was supposed to.

And waited.

And waited.

… and waited.

Twenty minutes later, I was FINALLY interviewed.

And, naturally, one of the issues that came up in the interview was as follows:

Huh.

Well, if that wasn’t a bait and switch, I don’t know what is. I mean, come on, who does that?

So anyways, he listed a few things that ultimately had nothing to do with what I wanted. And, on top of that, they were all sales position, that were seasonal, and “they’ll extend an offer if you work hard.”

I hate sales. And I also hate being essentially lied to. It sucks. But hey, I need money pretty badly. 

So… I guess I’ll just take it.

The interview proceeded and then ended, and I was invited to a second interview.

“Awesome, I suppose.” was my thought at that time. It was such a let down to go there and be told “oh, they thing we called you in for isn’t available, BUT YOU CAN DO THIS INSTEAD, RIGHT?”

I had such a feeling of “meh” I could’ve been a hipster. It was ridiculous.

But I need the money.

So, I agreed to show up yesterday (Monday), again at 4:30, to take a second interview.

And, again I showed up on time.

… and I waited.

See any similarities here?

“We’re very sorry, but we filled all of our positions. We’ll keep you on file, though!”

… seriously? What made this place think it could waste my time, effort, and gas money? It was really upsetting in the moment.

There are a TON of scams out there that are technically legal, but unethical as all get out.

"It's not child abuse if they do it to themselves."

It is absolutely terrible. So terrible, I’m gonna make an infographic about it.

Best infographic EVAR.

And the thing is that they paint this picture like it’s a fix-all when it’s really a make-your-life-shittier.

After all this bullshit, I sometimes need to take a break and remember that it will get better.

Unless, of course, it doesn’t.

 Know of any scams? Just want to rant? Comment about them below! I promise I'll reply!

Also, leave a comment with any number 1-5 to select which topic I'm writing about next!

The Tale of the Jitterbug

Oh there's no place like home for the holidays.

No, seriously. It's crazy.

Every year for Christmas, my family does the whole "secret santa" thing. For our friends joining us from Mars, this is when you draw a name out of a hat and then your "secret mission" is to figure out what the person wants and then give it to them on Christmas (within budget, usually about $20 if I remember). Christmas comes and everyone's happy.

Now imagine a strange, cruel world where all of that is backwards.

That's what a Yankee Swap is.

This past year, we held a yankee swap within the family + LavaGirl confederation for the first time. Here's how it works.

1. You buy a gift worth maybe $5.00. Something cheap. And it can be ANYTHING. (More on that in a second).
2. You bring it, wrap it, and everyone puts it in a pile.
3. You pick a number.
4. Whoever picked number one picks up a present and unwraps it.
5. Number 2 picks a present and can then choose to keep it or swap it, and the swap MUST be facilitated. Then, that person's turn is complete.
6. Everyone goes through in order; you can swap with anyone who's gone before you.
7. After the last person it goes back to number one who has the last laugh as he or she can then choose to swap with anyone.

This is all well and fun, unless of course you have someone like me in the mix. Then it's anarchy.

Enter the Jitterbug.

No, I'm not kidding. This thing actually exists.

When I saw this thing, I knew I had to get it. This was the Yankee Swap gift. This terror that some woman in Idaho made simply to scare kids into therapy was perfect.

And, naturally, the results were amusing.

I had a field day. It was simply too good, and I lucked out in the Yankee Swap, so I didn't get it.

Or so I thought.

Sonuvabitch. My family sent it to me. While I was in college.

When my roommate saw this thing, he nearly had a damned heart attack.

Of course, it didn't help that I planted it in his bed first, but still.

For the next three months the Thing™ went everywhere.

It's still out there, somewhere.

Waiting.

Watching.