The Games We Play

When you’re unemployed, you discover that you have quite a lot of free time. And, as the flawed human beings we all are, this time is sometimes used in peculiar ways.

Thank Goodness we're not, like, curing cancer or something.

One of the most common things people gravitate to (and by “people” I mean males aged 14-30) is games. They’re fun. To me, some feel like being a general, while others feel like being the main character in a movie.

But sometimes, this doesn’t translate over very well to your better half…

Damn.

Sometimes, you try to reconcile…

"I don't even know how you did that... Super Mario Bros doesn't usually have a HitlerMode.

But other times, you just try to hide it like the shame-ridden thing you clearly are to her.

And, after three years, I had almost given up hope…

And then it happened.

She discovered Civilization V.

It was incredible.

It was terrifying.

I gave her small lessons here and there, but she figured out the majority of it herself. And, last night, she claimed her first Domination victory.

And, soon, there will be multiplayer…

Breaking the Ice Through Brute Force

The Interview.

If you didn’t shutter or nervously chuckle at that, there’s something wrong with you.

Interviews are like the Final Boss of the job search. If you win, music plays, you open the big chest, and DOO-DOO-DOO-DOOOOOO! Your job offer hovers above your triumphantly raised hands rotating.

It's your eviction notice.

This is a tricky place, however. You get asked questions and you’re expected to come up with good answers. Not *just* good answers, but AMAZING, SURPRISINGLY ELOQUENT answers that would make Cicero jealous.

"You leave me out of this."

And, naturally, when you’re away from the high-pressure area of Mr. Boss’s office, you can come up with some pretty good answers.

But when you go there,  you’re going to fuck it up. Royally.

Oh yeah. All the fucking time.

Yeeeah, there can be some pretty catastrophically awkward moments in an interview. And they are damned near unavoidable. One misstep, and it’s into awkwardland you go.

And no one can prevent it.

It’s impossible to avoid the ensuing onslaught. The best you can do is to follow some sort of procedure in order to either get out of the awkwardness or to brace for impact…

Everyone faces awkward moments. Just most don't completely implode when it happens. 

... this *might* be the reason I'm still unemployed...

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